In or Out: Paz de la Huerta

Cigarettes and Febreze, with an undercurrent of stale Chanel No. 5.

Paz de la Huerta attends the ELLE Women In Television event
at Soho House in West Hollywood, California.

It's fair to say, based less on her Boardwalk Empire performance than her ... well, real life performances, that Ms. de la Huerta is one of those gals who likes to let her body do the talking for her. And if you're a starlet with a body for days, that's not all that unusual. A veritable army of women based their careers on everything below the neck and some of them even became legendary for it. There are even ways to work that persona while giving a knowing wink. Again, quite a few women in Hollywood have managed to straddle that line.

Take this look, for example. Not the way to do it. Clearly born out of the idea that she need only slap on a tight red dress and she's red carpet ready. Spectacular as her body may be, we tend to think one should put a little more effort in. The dress is fine. There's not really a lot to say about it except that it's inoffensive from a style perspective. We're not the biggest fans of chokers. They whisper "stripper" in the same manner that lucite heels scream it. But fine. A sweetheart neckline with a choker could almost be considered a classic look. Really, everything below the neck is fine, if a bit standard. It's the hair and makeup that really take this look south. That's not red carpet hair and makeup. That's "I'm running to the convenience store for a pack of Newports" hair and makeup. That's "slap on some lipstick and a scrunchie" hair and makeup. Top it off with a light sheen of sweat and she's rocking a look that doesn't so much say "I'm a rising star" as it says "I'm the hottest girl in my trailer park."

Paz, we say this with love: do whatever you want in terms of showing off your tits. The entertainment industry isn't exactly judgmental about that sort of thing and neither are we. But HONEY. We do NOT show up at events looking like we're 2 days into our meth bender, dear. Not a good look at all. Hire some gays to do your makeup next time. You don't even have to be awake for it! They'll take the burning cigarette out of your mouth while you sleep and do their magic without disturbing you at all. When the limo arrives, they'll even help carry you to it, urging words of encouragement in the way that only good gays can. "GIRL! YOU BEST WAKE THE FUCK UP, NOW! DON'T BE SMEARING MY GOOD WORK ALL OVER THE UPHOLSTERY! PAZ HONEY, HOW MANY FINGERS DO YOU SEE?"

The gays are a messy girl's best friend, you guys. You know it's true. However, until Ms. Paz starts availing herself of their services, she will almost surely always be OUT.

[Photo Credit: wireimage, getty]


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Labels: Fashion, In or Out, Paz de la Huerta, Red Carpet